How a Selfie Challenge Gave Me the Courage to Step Out on My Own—and Reflecting on My First Year of Business
In 2019, I did something wildly uncomfortable: I joined and wrote about a 7-day “selfie with a stranger” challenge. It was inspired by Jia Jiang, TEDx speaker and creator of the 100 Days of Rejection experiment. That challenge cracked me open. It taught me about bravery, rejection, willpower—and the internal chaos of negative self-talk.
I learned that:
- A single moment of bravery can change everything.
- Rejection is rarely as painful as we imagine.
- Willpower has limits, especially when we stack too many hard things at once.
- And most importantly, I had to be kind to myself when I felt like a mess (all the time).
Fast forward to 2024: I put those lessons to the test in a much bigger way—I launched my own coaching business.
Reflecting on my first year as a solopreneur, I can clearly see how the roots of what I’ve learned this year sprouted from that very first experiment in courage.
Only this time, the stakes were higher.
I wasn’t just asking strangers to take a photo with me. I was asking people to trust me with their deepest challenges, their vulnerability, their hard-earned money. I wasn’t just posting photos, I was sharing my mission to help burned-out professionals reclaim their energy, joy, and leadership.
And sometimes, I was met with… silence.
No replies. No bookings. No responses.
But here’s the truth I’ve come to hold close:
Silence is not rejection. It’s a signal to keep showing up.
Lesson 1: Bravery Is Doing It Before You Feel Ready
Back in the selfie challenge, I had to push past the voice screaming, “Who do you think you are?”
That voice didn’t disappear when I became a business owner—it just got louder.
In my first year, bravery looked like:
- Launching offers before they felt “perfect”
- Hosting LinkedIn Lives to an audience of zero
- Showing up for a workshop with only 3 sign-ups like it was 30
- Reaching out to potential clients even as my inner critic whispered, “They’re probably not interested”
Bravery, I’ve learned, isn’t about waiting to feel confident. It’s about taking action anyway.
Lesson 2: Silence Isn’t Rejection—It’s a Space to Keep Creating
One of the hardest parts of entrepreneurship? The echo chamber.
You put your heart into a post. You follow up. You send the pitch. And… crickets.
In the beginning, every “seen” without a reply felt like a no. Every unsubscribe? A gut punch.
It reminded me of the summer when I was 9 and my mom forgot to invite my friends to my birthday party. Only two showed up. I felt embarrassed, ashamed, like something was wrong with me.
But here’s what else happened this year: strangers who never bought anything sent me messages like, “Your post today hit me hard. I felt so seen.”
People were watching—even if they weren’t responding.
And those who ghosted? I eventually realized they weren’t rejecting me. They were just busy. Or unsure. Or not quite ready.
My job isn’t to force a “yes.” It’s to keep offering value—generously and consistently.
Lesson 3: Showing Up Is the Strategy
In 2019, I learned the power of consistent action. Not perfection. Not popularity. Just… showing up.
And that’s still true today.
Some weeks, content flows like magic. Other weeks, I stare at my screen thinking, “What am I even doing?” But I keep showing up.
Because that’s how momentum builds. That’s how trust grows. That’s how impact happens—quietly, then all at once.
Lesson 4: Rejection Feels Personal—But Often Isn’t
Whether it’s ghosting or a direct “no,” rejection can feel like a personal attack.
But it rarely is.
People aren’t saying, “You’re unworthy.” They’re saying, “Not right now.” Or “Not this offer.” Or “I’m overwhelmed and can’t think straight.”
Sometimes rejection just means the timing—or the person—isn’t aligned. And that’s okay.
Lesson 5: Willpower and Bravery Are Muscles
On Day 3 of the selfie challenge, someone said no—and I wanted to quit.
But I didn’t. I kept going.
That same muscle is what’s helped me through this first year of business:
- Willpower to post even if no one commented last time.
- Bravery to run a workshop for one person.
- Grit to follow up again (and again).
- Energy to keep experimenting.
Courage compounds when you keep choosing it.
Lesson 6: Growth Means Repeating the Same Lesson at a Higher Level
Discomfort is the doorway to growth. That’s true whether you’re asking for a selfie—or launching a business.
The voice that says, “Who do you think you are?” never fully leaves. But now I know how to respond.
I remind myself: I don’t need everyone to care. I just need to keep showing up long enough to find the right ones.
At a recent event, a speaker said something that struck me:
“What if what you have to offer could save one person’s life? Would it be worth it then?”
Yes. A thousand times yes.
So, I keep going. For that one person. Over and over again.
Lesson 7: Visibility Is Vulnerability—and Responsibility
This year, I’ve learned that visibility isn’t just a marketing tactic—it’s a form of leadership.
When I show up, especially when it’s uncomfortable, I give others permission to do the same.
That means:
- Sharing the messy middle, not just the highlight reel
- Talking about the struggle and doubt, not just goals
- Being real, not just polished
Lesson 8: Keep Showing Up, Even When It’s Quiet
This is the biggest through-line of both my selfie challenge and my first year in business:
Keep showing up.
Even if it feels awkward. Even if you’re not sure it’s working. Even if no one responds.
Momentum builds in the quiet. Confidence grows in repetition. Trust compounds over time.
One Year In: Still Showing Up
Today, the format has changed. I’m not asking for selfies—I’m sharing offers, hosting workshops, and starting conversations.
But the lesson is the same:
Be brave. Be visible. Keep going.
Because success isn’t built from one viral moment. It’s built from quiet, consistent commitment.
You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be present.
And when in doubt, I return to one of my favorite quotes from Amanda Palmer’s The Art of Asking:
“Everybody out there is winging it to some degree, of this we can be pretty sure. In both the art and the business worlds, the difference between the amateurs and the professionals is simple: The professionals know they’re winging it. The amateurs pretend they’re not.”
So, if you feel like you’re out here, vulnerable and unsure, just winging it?
Welcome to the pros.
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And if you are too burned out and overwhelmed to even begin to use any of these strategies it might be time to get some help. Find a coach, therapist, or doctor who can help you reverse out of the physical, mental, and emotional symptoms of burnout so you can get back to living in life you love.
Remember, Self-care isn’t selfish…it’s required!
Yvonne Lee-Hawkins, IPHM, is a holistic Leadership and Wellness coach, stress strategist, and writer, who spent 20 years in corporate and leadership functions. When she is not working, she loves to go on nature adventures with her family, in the Pacific Northwest where they call home. You can find out more on her website, or follow her on LinkedIn, Medium, or Instagram.
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