Why EQ Matters Now More Than Ever
We are not in a “normal” moment.
Workplaces are navigating political polarization, economic pressure, cultural tension, and hybrid disconnection—all while managing human beings who are more anxious, isolated, and overwhelmed than ever.
In this environment, EQ isn’t optional, it’s essential. It’s what makes a leader not just effective, but sustainable. Not just respected but remembered. Those without EQ will lead businesses down the wrong path. Those who master it, will inspire their companies to build better long term.
Lacking EQ is Expensive
Years ago, I worked under an SVP who was tasked with growing our presence in a new, low-margin market. The company had invested heavily in hardware technology and was under intense pressure to make it pay off.
To accelerate results, the SVP hired a seasoned tech leader from a major competitor—an expensive but strategic move. Alongside my VP (the business leader), they were charged with developing fast, scalable tech solutions.
After a few months, the new tech leader gave a clear recommendation: if speed and ROI were the priorities, we should buy off-the-shelf solutions. We could launch within 18 months and see a return quickly. But if we stuck with in-house capabilities, it would take at least five, maybe even ten years to build the infrastructure.
The SVP exploded. He screamed, “I didn’t hire you to tell me it can’t be done. I hired you to make it happen.” When my VP backed the tech leader and calmly said, “I agree—this is a strategic decision we need to make,” the SVP turned on him and shouted, “I didn’t ask for your input. You don’t know your business. Sit down and shut the f— up.” 😵💫
Within weeks, the tech leader resigned—with a very generous severance. The VP left within six months for a better role in another company. The SVP? Eventually fired due to poor judgment and toxic leadership.
That technology? It never scaled. Still hasn’t.
This wasn’t just a failure of strategy. It was a failure of Emotional Intelligence. And it cost the company millions and years.
What is Emotional Intelligence, Really?
Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions—and to do the same with others. It’s made up of five key components: Self-awareness, Self-regulation, Motivation, Empathy, and Social skills.
Unlike IQ, which is believed to be mostly fixed, EQ is trainable. And it’s quickly becoming a non-negotiable for modern leadership. In the age of AI, it will be more important than ever.
Why? Because in the current employment market, where companies have lost employee loyalty, there is a not so quiet battle over remote work, generational shifts with new generations expecting more than just a paycheck, and burnout reshaping teams, leaders who lack EQ don’t just lose their tempers. They lose trust. Talent. Momentum. And credibility.
Developing Self-Awareness as a Leader
Self-awareness is your foundation. It’s your internal GPS. Without it, you’re flying blind.
As leaders are pressured now more than ever to “do more with less,” many leaders are running on autopilot, unaware that their stress is leaking into every meeting. They may think they’re being “direct,” but others experience them as cold. They may see themselves as calm, while their team walks on eggshells.
Self-aware leaders ask:
- What am I feeling right now, and why?
- How are my emotions influencing my tone, decisions, and energy?
- What’s the impact of my presence on this team?
Leaders who aren’t hearing complaints from their teams should be worried. It means your teams aren’t talking to you.
The great news? You can build self-awareness. Through intention. It could include journaling, asking for specific feedback, getting coaching. And yes, through moments where things go sideways and you pause to reflect, not react.
Building Empathy in Leadership
Here’s a hard truth: your technical expertise isn’t what makes people want to follow you. Your empathy does.
Empathy isn’t just “being nice.” It’s the ability to step outside of your own perspective and consider how others are feeling, especially when they don’t say it out loud.
Let’s take Emma, a senior manager in HR. Her company just rolled out another new software, tighter deadlines, and less support. Instead of launching into a policy update, she started her team meeting with:
“Before we dive in, I want to name something—this is a lot. And if you’re feeling stretched or unsure, you’re not alone. Let’s talk about what’s coming and how we can support each other.”
That moment earned more trust than any perfectly crafted communication plan with talking points from PR. Because when people feel seen, they show up. They collaborate. They stay.
Empathy leads to retention, loyalty, and performance. In an era where psychological safety is a competitive advantage, leaders who build empathy aren’t just being kind, they’re being strategic.
How to Stay Composed Under Pressure
This is the million-dollar skill.
When everything is on fire…deadlines crashing, clients upset, politics flaring…your team is watching you. Not your words, but your face. Your body language. Your tone.
Emotionally intelligent leaders regulate their own nervous system before trying to regulate anyone else’s.
They know how to breathe deeply before speaking. They ask curious questions instead of making accusations. They take a moment to respond instead of react.
I worked with a leader, a high-performing executive at a high tech company, used to “power through” conflict. But it came at a cost, tense relationships, silent meetings, frustrating executive meetings and high turnover. Through intention, he began practicing nervous system regulation tools, grounding, mindful micro-pauses, and naming emotions in the moment. His team came to consider him their “anchor”, the calm in the storm.
This isn’t fluff. It’s neuroscience. When you stay composed, you help your team shift from fear to focus.
You can’t change the weather, but you can decide how you show up in that storm. Will you be thrashed around by it, or become the calm that sees everyone through it?
Ready to Grow Your EQ?
If you’ve ever:
- Struggled to stay calm when things get tense
- Been told you’re intimidating or distant, even when you mean well
- Wondered why your team isn’t responding the way you hoped
Then it’s time to develop your Emotional Intelligence.
I help leaders at all levels deepen their self-awareness, grow empathy, and strengthen emotional regulation so they can lead with influence and integrity—even in the hardest seasons.
Whether you want to show up more powerfully in meetings, build trust with your team, or navigate conflict without losing your cool, it starts with EQ.
If you don’t know where to start, or better yet, want to get there faster…Let’s work together. DM me “EQ” or head to my bio to learn how we can build your leadership foundation from the inside out.
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And if you are too burned out and overwhelmed to even begin to use any of these strategies it might be time to get some help. Find a coach, therapist, or doctor who can help you reverse out of the physical, mental, and emotional symptoms of burnout so you can get back to living in life you love.
Remember, Self-care isn’t selfish…it’s required!
Yvonne Lee-Hawkins, IPHM, is a holistic Leadership and Wellness coach, stress strategist, and writer, who spent 20 years in corporate and leadership functions while also being a wife and mom of three amazing kids. You can find out more on her website, or follow her on Instagram, LinkedIn, or Medium. If you want some help beating burnout and all that comes with it, schedule a call here.
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