It’s a Signal that It’s Time for Change
Pain has a way of getting our attention. Whether it’s physical discomfort, emotional exhaustion, or spiritual emptiness, pain is rarely pleasant—but it is always purposeful. I often tell my clients that pain isn’t the enemy. It’s information. It’s your body, mind, and soul’s way of saying, “Something needs to change.”
Think of it like the check engine light in your car. You wouldn’t ignore that glowing symbol for long, right? You might not love seeing it, but you know it’s there for a reason. It’s alerting you that if you keep pushing forward without addressing the issue, something more serious might break down.
Yet when it comes to our health and wellness, many people do exactly that. We drive our lives with the warning lights flashing, hoping the problems resolve themselves. We pop an Advil, pour another coffee, or tell ourselves, “I’ll rest when things calm down.”
And here’s the surprising thing I’ve noticed in countless conversations about wellness and burnout—so many people actually wear their pain like a badge of honor.
The Misguided Badge of Honor
When I talk to high achievers, leaders, and everyday professionals about their well-being, I often hear pride woven into their pain stories:
- “I haven’t taken a real vacation in five years.”
- “I always work on weekends.” (in a M-F role)
- “I’m always the one people can count on.”
- “Sleep? I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”
Somewhere along the line, we began to confuse endurance with strength and pain with purpose. We glorify being busy, tired, and stressed as if those are signs that we’re doing something right.
But here’s the truth: chronic pain—whether physical or emotional—isn’t proof that you’re strong; it’s evidence that you’ve been strong for too long without support. It’s not weakness to acknowledge your pain—it’s wisdom.
Your pain is trying to get your attention, not your approval.
What Science Says About Expressing Pain
There’s a fascinating piece of research that completely changed the way I think about pain. Studies show that yelling or vocalizing during pain can actually help the body recover faster.
Researchers found that people who let out a sound—a groan, a yell, even verbal expressions of discomfort—experienced lower pain perception and less physical tension than those who stayed silent. Expressing the pain also led to faster healing and recovery. In other words, holding pain in makes it worse.
Think about that. The very thing society tells us not to do—express pain—is biologically helpful.
Now imagine applying that same principle emotionally. If expressing physical pain helps the body heal, what could expressing emotional pain do for you?
When you talk about your pain, when you share your struggles out loud with someone you trust, you create space for healing. You release pressure and hormones that aid in healing. You activate the parts of your brain associated with emotional regulation and connection. You remind yourself that you are not alone.
No one was ever meant to carry pain in silence.
Pain Is the Invitation to Change
Pain, in any form, is an invitation to look closer. It’s the body whispering, “Please pay attention.”
If your back aches every day, maybe your posture—or your workload—needs attention.
If you feel exhausted every morning before the day begins, maybe your boundaries are overdue for maintenance.
If you feel resentful, anxious, or numb, maybe your soul is asking for rest, meaning, or connection.
Pain shows up to direct, not to destroy. It’s not punishment, it’s a messenger. When you listen to it early, it’s often gentle. When you ignore it, it gets louder.
Three Things You Can Do Today
If you’re feeling physical, emotional, or energetic pain right now, here are three simple actions you can take today to begin moving toward relief and change:
- Listen Without Judgment.
Instead of pushing your pain away or numbing it, take five quiet minutes to ask, “What is this trying to tell me?” Notice where it shows up in your body or life. Pain often has wisdom hidden inside it—it might be telling you to rest, to slow down, or to let go of something no longer serving you. - Express It.
Whether it’s through journaling, movement, prayer, or talking to someone, let it out. Say it out loud. Don’t bottle it up. Remember the research—expressing pain, even vocally, releases tension and signals safety to your nervous system. Emotional pain follows the same rules. The more you speak it, the less power it holds. - Take One Aligned Action.
Small steps matter. Book that chiropractic exam or wellness check. Cancel one unnecessary meeting. Go for a walk instead of pushing through another hour at your desk. Healing begins with micro-decisions that tell your body and mind, “I’m listening now.”
You Don’t Have to Carry Pain Alone
If you take nothing else from this message, please take this: pain is not a personal failure. It’s feedback. It’s proof that you’re human, and that something within you is asking to be healed, supported, or changed.
When you honor your pain—when you listen, express, and act on it—you reclaim your power. You stop being a passenger in your life and start driving it again, consciously and compassionately.
And if you’re reading this and realizing you’ve been running on empty for too long, I want you to know you don’t have to figure it out alone. Whether it’s me, a therapist, a trusted friend, or a wellness professional—reach out. Talk about what hurts. Share the load.
Your pain isn’t something to hide; it’s something to heal.
If you’re experiencing burnout, chronic stress, or the kind of pain that feels like it’s stealing your joy, let’s talk. Together, we can uncover what your “check engine light” is trying to tell you—and help you make the changes that bring relief, energy, and balance back into your life.
Reach out to me or confide in someone you trust. You deserve to feel whole, healthy, and pain-free—inside and out.
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Yvonne Lee-Hawkins, IPHM, is a holistic Wellness coach, facilitator, writer, and mother who spent 20 years in corporate and leadership functions while also being a wife and mom to three amazing kids. You can find out more on her website, or follow her on Instagram, LinkedIn, or Medium. If you are ready to elevate your life, schedule a call here.
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