Despite most people knowing that a growth mindset sets us up for success much better than a fixed one, there is still something that most of us buy into. You probably do as well when it comes to something about yourself. It isn’t about your personality, or your ambition. It’s about your talent.
Somewhere along the way, many of us absorbed a quiet but powerful story passed down to us from well-meaning parents. The belief that you either have certain talents, or you don’t. You’re “a natural” or you’re not cut out for it. And once that label sticks, it starts shaping your decisions in ways you don’t even notice.
I know this because I lived it.
Growing up, my father used to tell me I was talented. And he meant it in the best possible way. It gave me confidence. It made me feel capable. It encouraged me to try things and believe I could succeed.
But there was a hidden cost.
Because if I was talented at certain things… then anything that didn’t come easily must not be for me.
So, when I encountered things that felt hard, skills that didn’t click right away, environments where I wasn’t immediately one of the best, I didn’t see them as opportunities to grow. I saw them as evidence. Proof that I lacked whatever “it” was.
And without realizing it, I started opting out of potential paths, not because I couldn’t succeed, but because I wasn’t instantly good.
That’s the trap of the talent myth.
The Lie That Limits Us
The idea that success is driven primarily by innate talent is deeply ingrained in our culture. We celebrate prodigies. We admire “naturals.” We tell stories about overnight success. In companies, we label people HIPO (high potential), Top Tier, or some other label that seems to say they have “it.”
But what we rarely see is the years of invisible effort, and in many cases the quiet support, behind that success.
Malcolm Gladwell popularized the concept that it takes roughly 10,000 hours of practice to achieve mastery in a field. While the exact number has been debated, the underlying principle holds: excellence is built, not bestowed.
Skills are not a gift. They are a process.
And yet, when we believe the opposite, it quietly sabotages us.
In our careers, it sounds like, “I’m just not a numbers person.” “I’m not cut out for leadership.” Or even “I’m not creative.” I had a leader early in my career once tell me that I “wasn’t strategic.” As if any of us are born with strategy and planning built into our DNA.
In our relationships, it can show up as, “I’m just bad at communication.” “I’ve never been good at emotional connection.” Or “That’s just not how I am.” As if to say we are static, unchanging and you better just take it or leave it.
These aren’t truths. They’re conclusions—often drawn far too early.
The Real Path to Success
When you strip away the myth, something powerful emerges:
You can get better at almost anything.
Careers aren’t built on raw talent alone. They’re built on repetition, feedback, adaptation, persistence, and experience. Often the experience of failing so many times that we know what to avoid, and what to try next time.
The same is true for relationships.
Great communicators weren’t born that way; they practiced listening, expressing, repairing. Strong leaders weren’t always confident. They developed the skill of decision-making under pressure. People who build deep, meaningful relationships didn’t stumble into them, they learned how to show up, again and again.
The difference isn’t talent.
It’s willingness to stay in the game long enough to improve.
How I Teach My Clients Differently
Because of my own experience, I’m intentional about how I guide my clients today.
I don’t reinforce the idea that they need to “find their natural strengths” and stay in that lane.
Instead, I help them expand their identity.
You’re not just someone who’s good at a few things.
You’re someone who can become good at many things.
That shift changes everything.
It opens doors in your career that you would have closed prematurely.
It transforms how you approach challenges.
It gives you resilience in moments where things feel hard, because now, hard doesn’t mean “not for you.” It means “you’re in the learning phase.”
And in relationships, it creates growth instead of stagnation. Instead of saying, “This is just who I am,” you start asking, “Who do I want to become?”
The Truth That Sets You Free
You were never meant to be limited by what came easily to you.
Some of the most meaningful, fulfilling parts of your life, your career, your relationships, your sense of purpose, will require you to grow beyond your current capabilities.
And that’s not a sign you’re lacking.
It’s a sign you’re growing.
The talent myth tells you to stay where you’re comfortable.
But your potential?
It lives in the places you’re willing to practice.
When it comes to my own kids, I don’t tell them they are talented. I ask them what they want to be good at. When they sometimes say I’m not good at geometry/running/drawing [insert whatever topic] I ask them, “how do we get good at anything” and they’ll say back in unison, often with a groan, “practice!” Eye rolls aside, I hope it sticks with them, because it’s a lesson, I learned the hard way years into my career. As for that leader who told me I wasn’t strategic? I stuck with it, worked hard to get promoted and spent the next 5 years working on nothing but strategy. [picture ten year old me sticking my tongue out saying “so there!”]
Five Ways to Start Getting Better Today
If the talent myth has been quietly shaping your choices, here’s how to start rewriting the story:
- Reframe “I’m not good at this” to “I’m not good at this yet.”
This small language shift keeps you in a growth mindset. It reminds your brain that ability is not fixed, it’s developing. You are getting better every day. - Choose one skill and commit to deliberate practice.
Not just repetition, but focused improvement. Whether it’s public speaking, leadership, or communication in your relationship, spend 20–30 minutes intentionally working on it. - Seek feedback faster.
Growth accelerates when you stop guessing. Ask for input from someone who’s ahead of you or directly impacted by your behavior. Take their input and tweak your approach. - Normalize being bad at the beginning.
Every skill has an awkward phase. Expect it. Embrace it. Stay anyway. Maybe even have fun with it. Allow yourself to be spectacularly bad ad something until you aren’t. - Track effort, not just outcomes.
Instead of measuring success by results alone, measure how consistently you showed up to practice. Progress follows consistency. It’s often like waiting for water to boil. The water heats up slowly, 1 degree at a time and nothing seems to be working. Then from 211F degrees to 212F, voila — boiling water. Track your progress and wait long enough for your own boiling point to appear.
What is something you’ve been told you’re not naturally good at? What is something you’ve always wanted to do but that felt hard? Let me invite you to take one small step to get better at it today.
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Yvonne Lee-Hawkins is a Holistic Career & Burnout Coach supporting high-performing professionals through career transitions, leadership challenges, and burnout recovery.
She also helps recent graduates land their first career. You can find out more on her website, or follow her on LinkedIn, Medium, or Instagram.
If you know someone who could use help beginning or transforming their career, have them schedule a call here.