One of the frustrations I often hear about from clients who are searching for their next role. They are doing all the things. They are looking for the opportunities. They are reaching out, applying. And then… crickets. It’s so quiet it almost hurts. I can feel their pain.
You might not know this about me, but I am not a patient person. With small children, animals, or someone who is suffering, yes of course. I am great in a crisis. I have led my share of interventions and tend to be the calm in the storm by getting people to come back to the table. However, when it comes to actions I take, I like to see fast returns. I’d bet that you do too.
But what if the problem with the job search isn’t that you’re not throwing the ball far enough? What if you’re just playing the wrong game?
Job searching can feel a lot like playing catch.
You throw your resume out to a company. You send the LinkedIn message. You have the networking conversation. You apply for the job. Then you wait. And wait. And wait.
You expect some sort of response. Even a form letter rejection is “someone throwing the ball back.” That is why the growing behavior of ghosting in the job industry is so frustrating.
You want to scream, “someone please just throw the ball back.”
Eventually, you start wondering: Did they get the ball? Are they going to throw it back? Did I do something wrong? Can anyone see me? Is this a Sixth Sense situation (if you haven’t seen the movie Sixth Sense with Bruce Willis, I won’t want to spoil it for you but definitely go watch it! It’s a classic for a reason).
Eventually, the anxiety starts. Because when your entire job search depends on someone else throwing the ball back, their silence starts to feel personal. It feels like no one sees you, or you make up stories in your head that they did see you and decided you weren’t even worth a response. Don’t let that story take root. It’s not true.
There’s another way to think about it. Stop playing ball. Change the game.
Plant a garden.
Instead of putting all your energy into getting one person or company to respond, plant possibilities everywhere.
Have the coffee conversation.
Reach out to the former colleague.
Apply for the role that makes you curious.
Reconnect with someone you haven’t talked to in years.
Share something thoughtful on LinkedIn.
Talk to a recruiter.
Explore consulting.
Volunteer somewhere.
Take a class to learn something new.
Each one is a seed.
And here’s the important part to remember: you don’t get to decide which seed grows.
Some won’t take. Some will take longer than you expected. Some may grow into something completely different from what you originally imagined. And occasionally, something you planted almost as an afterthought becomes the opportunity you never saw coming.
Your job isn’t to stand over every seed screaming, “GROW ALREADY!” This is probably something I would do. Or at least I’d dig up the seed every few days to see if I see progress. That is why gardening is on my retirement list. One day I hope to have the patience, and green thumb, to plant a seed and just wait for signs of life.
In the meantime, your job is to keep planting. Then give those possibilities the things they need: sunshine, water, and patience.
This lesson hits me close to home, not just in the job search, but also in business. I’m great in a crisis. Put me in the middle of a storm and I’m often the person who gets calm, gets focused, figures out what matters, and starts moving. I help people get out of some of their darkest moments and see new possibilities.
But patience? That’s another story. I want to DO something. I want to go fix it. I want to know the answer. I want the seed I planted yesterday to be a six-foot-tall opportunity today.
Unfortunately, careers (and client acquisition for that matter) don’t work that way.
Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is keep tending the garden while remembering that growth is happening underground—where you can’t see it yet.
So, if your job search feels like nothing is working, don’t interpret silence as failure.
Change the game.
Three things you can do today to change the game
- Plant three new seeds.
Contact three people you haven’t talked to recently. Don’t ask them for a job. Ask what they’re seeing, what they’re working on, or what they’re excited about. Open doors instead of demanding outcomes. - Go volunteer.
Get out of the job-search echo chamber and contribute somewhere. Help a nonprofit. Mentor someone. Join a community project. You’ll meet people, practice your skills, and—perhaps most importantly—remind yourself that your value is bigger than your employment status. - Tend one existing seed.
Follow up with someone you’ve already connected with. Send the article. Make the introduction. Check in. Nurture a relationship without immediately asking what it can do for you.
You don’t need every seed to grow. You just need enough of them to take root.
So, stop throwing the ball into the void and waiting for someone to throw it back.
Plant. Water. Get some sunshine. Be patient.
And trust that just because you can’t see anything growing yet doesn’t mean nothing is happening.
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Yvonne Lee-Hawkins is a Holistic Career & Burnout Coach supporting high-performing professionals through career transitions, leadership challenges, and burnout recovery.